A Facebook Cull

The Hundred Days Project is having a plagiarism week. After my Wikipedia ‘random article’-inspired short story I’m having a second copycat mission.

Following on Jason Graham’s excellent Facebook Cull I am culling a facebook friend*.

DAY SEVENTY SIX – I’LL GET YOU ROYER

HOW DO I KNOW THEM:
We went to Summerland Secondary School together, at least for some of the time. I don’t even know if he graduated or was in my year or anything. In fact, I struggle to picture him at all. Although I can picture some of the big trucks he used to park in the student parking lot by the Smoke Pit. His current profile picture is a car.

WHY ARE THEY MY FRIEND ON FACEBOOK:
I’ll Get You asked to be my friend back when he went by the name Josh Royer – a name I vaguely recalled from high school. We have quite a few friends in common from the ‘good ol’ days of being a teenager in Summerland. That’s enough for us to be friends, at least on the cyberspace of the internet’s worldwide web. We never hung out, or even exchanged words, although I’m sure we were present at some of the same bush parties.

WHY AM I DELETING THEM:
We were never friends. We were barely acquaintances. We have nothing in common. At some point I put him on my ‘limited profile’ list. This just seems like the logical next step.

HOW DOES THIS DELETION MAKE ME A BETTER PERSON
I’m happy to be friends with people from my past who I was once close, or even people I’ve met only briefly, but with whom I have at least one shared interest. But Ill Get You doesn’t fit into either category, so it’s best to just end our non-relationship. It was never meant to be.

STATUS AT DELETION:
Ill Get U Royer (Josh Royer)…sayz HAPPY V DAY …ma..FUCKERS..!!!!

ANY HESITATION:
I’ve never facebook culled. This is thrilling and terrifying. But I think it’s going to be good for me.

REAL WORLD ISSUES/AFFECT:
I don’t know anyone who knows him, he lives in Calgary Alberta, and I doubt he remembers me either, so no, none.

FINAL WORDS:
HAPPY V DAY …ma..FUCKER..!!

*While searching for a cull I managed to clear out some other dead weight as well, but this is a one-off post.

If you want more facebook culling, check out the Facebook Cull, or Plagiarist Lizzie Poulton’s shot at it.

2017-09-14T08:43:57+00:00February 15 2010|