There’s a saying in the theatre that goes ‘Crappy dress rehearsal means great opening night.’ I sure hope it is true. because last night was a disappointment.

Not an unmitigated disaster. But a disappointment.

Due to a heroic, last-ditch effort to get enrolled in a reasonably priced, decent French class, I was thrown well off schedule and nowhere near our call time of 7:30, and even late for the ‘absolutely not later than 7:30. In fact, by the time I got to the theatre last night it was 7:40, I was halfway through a pita that was to act as my dinner, and our tiny messy dressing room was crowded and sweaty. That gave me 20 minutes to get settled, get my costume bits together, and get on stage. Before I knew it it was show time and things were only sort of together.

One of the great things about my role is that i get to make two transformative costume changes, involving wigs, costume bits, and props. It is fun. But last night things went haywire and some bits were missing.

By the last quarter of the play the combination of a huge costume fuck-up on my part, a few dropped lines, and the lack of any audience response from the five people in the house had combined for an energy hemorrhage.

But we got through it. And in fact as I wrote earlier, a crappy dress rehearsal is actually a good sign. At least tonight I will remember to wear the eye patch for the last scene.