This is a belated farewell to Pluto, who was drummed out of galactic planetary status last week by a bunch of asshole scientists who determined that its lack of “dominance” in its orbit warranted downgrading it from planet, to “nothing, really.” The International Astronomers Union just bequeathed a financial windfall to textbook publishers, and made kids and high school teachers sad and wistful. If Pluto had retained its planet status, it’s likely that that would’ve warranted the inclusion of a bunch of other junk in the Milky Way, giving us a solar system of some 50 planets. In the end one less planet to memorize, so much the better. But for me, Pluto will always remain the tiny, icy, useless pseudo-planet that’s really really far away and inconsequential, but a planet nonetheless.