New city. New school. First day.

The day consists of a two hour ‘social event’. University social events are awesome.

Be it an intramural sports afternoon ‘mixer’, or staying up until three in the morning drinking chai tea, listening to Bob Marley and discussing Joseph Campbell’s Hero With A Thousand Faces in someone’s dorm room, social events are an integral part of higher education. Even just plain old getting drunk can be a character-building exercise – when combined with boisterous singing, awkward advances, and throwing up in the bushes.

But this time around, university will be different. As a grown-up Masters Student, I have a greater amount of life-experience and self-control than those dewy-eyed freshers shedding their high-school selves to embrace a new semester of sweet promise, challenging ideas, and experimental identity.

I can’t wait to tell them all this while I’m drunk, throwing up behind a bush.

UPDATE: We all had fun. There was a buffet. I was a bit older than many students there, but I convinced them I was an undercover police officer, so they respect and fear me alot now. Day 1: Mission Accomplished.