Some fuckers stole my identity and tried to open an account at Future Shop in Canada. Apparently they had a whole bunch of personal information, which doesn’t make me very happy. In this feverishly infotained, borderless world, identity is slippery enough, without having other fuckwads competing for your details.
But I am very, very glad that the techniques employed to do credit checkery alerted the scrupulous and diligent Future Shop Credit-Checker that I would never, ever open an account there.
Actually I don’t know what set off the alarm bells, but future speculative identity thieves beware: I will be calling all Future Shop outlets, and Sears, and Canadian Tires, and let them know that I do not intend to open an account and buy loads of high-end stereo equipment, or a ski-doo, anytime soon.
I may be a red flag in every retail and banking outlet, but so are you, and so are my details, so go shoot yourself in the chest with a nail gun.
And also: shame on you.
There’s only 1 Ryan Millar.
Unless you’re into US Olympic volleyball. Or on facebook.