My lovely wife got me a bike for my birthday. She also (wise woman that she is) purchased two fuck-off huge-ass industrial Masterlocks, which come with a lifetime guarantee.
! This bike is even awesomer than my last years bike Aaaaaaannnd:
!Way less likely to be stolen (knock knock)
This jet black cruiser has all the trappings of a luxury car:
– Comfortable seats
– Standard transmission
– Ample trunk space
Thanks wifey, for the awesome and practical birthday gift, which I will ride around in new jeans, t-shirts and other assorted gifts. Things go better with bike!™