Let’s just take a look back over what’s been going on with some of the heads of state in the western world. Just sort of a quick look-over of some threads of interest.

Vladimir Putin held ‘democratic elections’ that were generally regarded as a poorly stage managed charade. When the people you hire to stuff ballot boxes complain to western media that they haven’t been paid, it’s a bad sign. It’s almost as if he didn’t really give a shit about the west’s perception. Perfect, Russia further distancing itself from the west, under the direction of a shrewd, ruthless, incrdibly popular and feared politician. That’s good news.

Not one to mince words, Angela Merkel, Chancellor of Germany, called the elections “neither free, nor fair, nor democratic.” In an unusual sign of European solidarity, everybody’s buddy and all-around keener Nicolas Sarkozy immediately telephoned Mr. Putin to say “right on brother!” Way to be united Europe. And way to stand up for democracy. Jackass.

Speaking of European Solidarity, Gordon Brown, Prime Minister of Britain. continues to show that his reputation for competence gained as finance minister and second-in-command for Tony Blair’s three terms has not prepared him to be anything but a bumbling buffoon during his time at the helm.

I’ll just skip the laundry list of debacles and scandals and misplays and get right to the latest gem. In an effort to distance himself from the ratification of the new EU Reform treaty, Brown showed up three hours late to the signing ceremony and signed it all by himself. After many of the other leaders had left(!)Thus drawing a not-unsubstantial amount of negative press and alienating himself from his continental allies. England the most euro-skeptic of nations, wants Europe to work for them, and the strategy appears to be: “let’s deepen this rift by absenting ourselves from major discussions and events. Maybe that will increase our influence on policy!”

We’ll see if that changes your rapidly developing reputation for incompetence, Mr Brown.

Speaking of incompetents. George W. Bush was recently forced to stand down from the sustained sabre-rattling he’d been engaged with against Iran, after the American spy agencies revealed that Iran had ceased trying to develop weapons grade uranium in 2004.

Where does he get his information from, if not the spy agencies whose sole raison d’etre is to gather intelligence to inform the government? Is it Jesus? Maybe Miss Beazley, his Scottish terrier? A magic 8-ball?

I don’t know, I’d probably ask my gigantic, well-placed, network of spies before I started shooting my fucking mouth off about attacking a volatile country smack-dab in the middle of a region in deep, deep crisis thanks in no small part to my last invasion and subsequent occupation caused by faulty, false, and misleading information. But maybe that’s why I’m not president of the UNITED FUCKING STATES OF AMERICA!!

Seriously. What’s wrong with these people?