My friend Johannes really hates the Danish. That makes alot of sense because he’s Swedish. It’s his birthright.
After much discussion on facebook we compiled a list of exceptions to the rule.
An Exhaustive List of Danes Johannes Doesn’t Hate
- Niels Bohr, physicist
- Helena Cristiansen, hot model
- The Guy Who Invented Lego
- The decapitated body of the Little Mermaid statue in the harbour of Copenhagen*
- Carlsberg beer**
*The statue is no longer headless, but the head doesn not make the list. The rock she sits on does.
** Carlsberg beer is not a person. However as a subsection of this entry we included the drunken Danish twat who ran onto the field and tried to take a swing at the referee in the 89th minute of the recent Sweden-Denmark football match. His actions cost the Danish National team valuable EuroCup Qualifying points they had earned by coming back from a 3-0 deficit to tie the game. The fan (who lives in Sweden) admitted to consuming 15-20 beers prior to the incident. Johannes would not deign to give him his own entry on the list, but did agree to give him a note under the Carlsberg entry.