It’s only June. Almost July, yes. But still only June. But it is fucking hot already, enough already. Basta. I mean it is suffocatingly stiflingly gross-and-sweaty-before-i-get-to-the-bus-stop-at-nine-in-the-morning hot. Oh, suuure, it’s a heat wave, but I’m convinced it’s atmospheric foreshadowing:it’s not going to get better for a while. First it’ll get worse. Fuck. Now, I’m not wimping out here, crying uncle cuz this big old city creeps the mercury higher than I’m used to. No, not at all, I’m merely letting off a little steam. Venting a little. Because this guy needs to find some new ways to keep cool, because the sweating is up to a maximum.

For those of you who haven’t been to St. Peter’s Basilica, know this: there’s a dress code. Men need long pants, everyone needs their shoulders cover and women need their knees covered.
As a guy, I’ve gotta rock long pants all the time. And stand in the sun. In fact stand in the sweaty line-ups to get into St. Peter’s. Every day, twice a day. And it’s getting hotter.

The plus side is that this big, gross, dirty, sweaty, sticky, city has an abundance of water fountains perpetually spilling delicious fresh cool water from the acqueducts. All it takes is one bottle and you can fill and drain all day long. This cool water keeps the supply of sweat fully stocked, if nothing else.