The Tour de France finished yesterday amid doping scandals galore. The organization is in crisis now that it’s mired in controversy (again). Sponsors are weary, fans are disillusioned, athletes are punching walls in steroid-fuelled rages, shit looks bad…

Maybe the Tour will finally just go all out and allow performance enhancing drugs, to even the playing field once again. That way it’ll no longer be just a repetitive boring cycling race, but rather a frenzied drug-pumping race followed by a turbo-charged superspeed cycling race. Way better.

Some potential slogans for next years race:

Tour de France: “Druggier than ever

Tour de France: “Faster than God

Tour de France: “More drugs= less boring”

and the runaway favorite slogan…

Tour de France:
Drugs are bad…
unless they help you to ACHIEVE YOUR TRUE POTENTIAL!