Wills & Kate getting married, separated

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I don’t know if you heard, but very soon Prince William will be marrying Kate Middleton in London. The news cycle is heating up as we count down. For example, just days ago, this story broke: Wills is having pre-wedding jitters!

Juicy!

Any wedding under this much scrutiny, followed by a life in the public eye on the public’s dime, would put a lot of strain on any union. It can’t be easy, this goldbricked road in front of them; I, quite honestly, wish them all the best.

New Zealand, however, doesn’t fuck around with such niceties. At least the Stamp Department doesn’t.

As you can see above, the stamp-printers of this sheep-loving Commonwealth nation figured: what with the likelihood of divorce these days, why don’t we make a joint Wills and Kate stamp that’s perforated right down the middle?

That way you can use the commemorative stamp of them united in blissful wedlock to mail a family member a small wheel of cheese or their car keys. Or other slightly weighty or oversized item.

But if you only need to send something small, like a couple pieces of dried fruit or a copy of a divorce certificate, then you can just rip the soon-to-be-wed Royal Couple apart and use them as individual stamps.

Maybe Wills caught wind of Kate and Harry’s commemorative mug fandango?

But if the thought of tearing the betrothed asunder is too much to bear, remember: it need not be permanent rupture. Just think of it as separate first-class vacations. Or perhaps a trial perforation.

And not that anyone’s counting, but the Wills stamp is worth a full New Zealand dollar more than Kate’s half. I hope that’s not what drove them apart.

UPDATE: As a Kiwi friend has pointed out. The stamp is actually from Niue, a tiny island nation close to NZ. They use NZ money and stamps, but are not actually New Zealand.

2015-02-03T16:01:13+00:00 April 5 2011|