Today is my day off and yet I’ve been at work for over an hour. Did I mention it’s my day off? I had the whole morning off, and I ran errands and things, but then I ‘had to go into the office’, and… here I am.

Yeah, I’m leaving in a minute, but I’m still here – I’ve already done the thing I came here to do, and yet, I’m still physically present in the office. Underdressed, but otherwise totally appearing to give a shit.

And I will totally staple, email, scan, or feign interest in anything you want me to. As long as it happens in the next ten minutes, because then I am out of here. That is your window. Use it or lose it.

Why did I come in at all? Why do I care?

I guess it’s just that I’m such an awesome person that any corporation, office, organization, company, factory, branch, institution, conglomerate, outpost, or whatever, would be fortunate to call me ’employee’. Although, if this was Starbucks or a Wild West saloon – then you would call me ‘Partner’.

But seriously: don’t get hung up on nomenclature, instead get hung up on my selfless dedication and near-constant physical presence in the ‘productivity zone’.

Anyway, my ten minutes is up. Workworld you are welcome.