Zombies are dangerous. Even though they just stagger around blindly and randomly, they can fuck you up. So be careful. In case of a zombie apocalypse the trick is to not get caught. If you’re caught the zombies will eat your brains, and then you’re a zombie. And an undead life is no life at all.

Or is it?

The reason I’m asking is because The London Bridge Experience is hiring zombies to zombie around and be terrifying. As near as I can tell the job description is: stagger, stumble, moan groan, shriek, collapse. The perfect mindless job.

Sign me up!

I’m on my way there this evening to do my best zombie impression. I don’t want to think of this as just a job opportunity, it’s both a career opportunity and training to make sure when the zombie apocalypse arrives, I’ll be well prepared to fight the bastards. or failing that, I’ll be well-prepared to be one of the bastards.

If you’re wondering how I’m going to channel zombie nation, I’ll let this clip give you a window into the Zombie’s Studio. It’s now time to get zombified. Please, for God’s Sake, protect yourself.

I’ll leave you with this unfunny zombie song.